Delivering a funeral speech can be a daunting task. After the funeral, people are likely to stop by your house to pay their respects and express their sympathy. They could be made towards the funeral or the departed’s favorite charity. Being there to listen and offer words of sympathy can offer so much comfort after a funeral. No matter how saddened you are by the person's death, the funeral is the time to give comfort, not receive it. Funerals, as a celebration of someone’s life and a commemoration of their passing, are becoming more personal, as family and friends become more involved. If you're close to the person, you could include an anecdote or story from the deceased's life to make the note more personal. However, in certain situations, a funny anecdote can help people feel better. If you find yourself wondering what to say at a funeral, here are 25 ideas to consider. For more inspiration about what to say at a funeral or during a eulogy, consider reading through a list of insightful quotes about grief from some of the most brilliant minds in history. There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. I know how you're feeling. It can be as simple as a thank you for your kindness, but a note after funeral services goes a long way. I’m here for you,” can help them feel supported and validated. Please do your own research before making any online purchase. Through her own tears, she told my mom, "I know I'll never replace your mother, but I'll try to mother you for her." Do enjoyable things with them such as making a lunch date so that they can talk about their feelings. While it’s important to assess the social situation and consider your relationship with the other attendees, many condolences are fairly universal. Sometimes people fall into the trap of thinking that offering support requires them to be stoic, but grieving family members often are touched and feel supported by seeing other people cry over their loved one. Funerals are an important social event, but they can be difficult for people to navigate. It requires some forethought and planning. Twenty years later, after my mom's funeral… If you can’t offer help, simply letting them know that you’re thinking about them can help people feel less alone. What To Say In Thank You Notes for Funeral Donations. Although you don't have to have refreshments for them, it's always nice when someone steps up and provides something for visitors. You also don't want to make light of the person's death. "I know you're hurting, and I have a shoulder whenever you need it." The goal of expressing sympathy is to offer your compassion and concern for the bereaved. The funeral should be a celebration of the person’s life, not a time to sort out their estate. After a death from drugs in the family, it is normal for relatives and loved ones to grieve. Make sure they know you’re there for them by explicitly telling them so. “Everything happens for a reason,” is a common phrase, but never say it at a funeral. If you don't have the gift of coming up with spur-of-the-moment comments that are always on point, learn a few expressions before you go to prevent saying the wrong thing. You can also let them know that they’re in your prayers, but this one can be a little trickier. The day of the funeral is charged with strong emotions, and sometimes, high expectations. It's time to start having some fun. Here are some comments that might help. These would be second, third, etc, texts to send after the death of their loved one. Oftentimes you may feel uncomfortableat a visitation and a funeral. "I'm so sorry for your loss" is good. It’s better to stick to more generic phrases with people whose religious affiliation you don’t know. The funeral wishes for the friend can be sent through cards or text messages along with funeral flowers for the wreath. 24. Funerals are difficult events to navigate if you don’t know what to say. Keep in mind, there is no ‘rule book’ to funeral etiquette, but these are very sensitive times for the family of the deceased. Nothing is more difficult than saying goodbye to a loved one, but the support shown through sympathy cards and condolences can help you through the difficult times. After a funeral, it is customary for a family to send out a sympathy thank you note to those who attended the funeral service. What to Say to Someone Going to a Funeral "I'm so sorry for what you're going through." It may feel supportive to say, “I know how you’re feeling,” and share a story of a person you’ve lost, but that often makes people feel ignored. This is the time to employ your speech filters. However, if you don’t know them well, you should express your sympathy and politely move on so others will have an opportunity to talk to them. Though most words of encouragement and love will be well received, there are a few things that you should avoid saying. When a loved one passes away, close family members often feel alone and unsupported. I am so sorry. Sometimes well-meaning people use phrases such as, “She’s in a better place,” or “At least he isn’t in pain anymore,” in an effort to make the family feel better. However, it’s important to put your discomfort with that aside at a funeral. So what do you say to the bereaved, not just at a funeral, but in the months after, when grief takes on a terrible endless quality, when it seems that every moment of life from here on out will be fraught with hurt and longing? What To Say To Express Sympathy. Don’t Suggest It Happened for a Reason, Final Thoughts on What to Say at a Funeral. “I can’t imagine how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can.” It is good to validate your loved … If you’re going to a funeral where you don’t know many people, you may want to bring along a few copies of photos you have of the deceased. “Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the … If it’s etiquette that keeps you up at night, we have tips on what to do, take and wear to a funeral. When my mom's mother died, I was a preteen child. Bring a plant or tree that can be put in the yard in memory of the deceased. But, the kindness of my co-workers made it a little easier. For a dear friend in mourning, show signs of empathy. At first, they have to get used to not having the person around. If you know them well, you may want to stand with them for longer. To Someone Special. What To Say In Thank You Notes for Funeral Donations. We truly appreciated the warm words of comfort.” “Your words were so kind … You will likely have a number of thank you cards for funeral flowers to write. Immediately after the funeral, you can help coordinate food at the house of mourning. "I'm sorry for your loss." What do you say when you’re not very close to someone who lost a loved one? If you want to help, be specific in your offer. All you need to do is offer a few sympathetic and kind words in an even tone. Below are some examples of things you might say. What to Say if Invited to Speak. Any positive comments should be about the person’s life, not their death. Grieving people don't magically stop grieving just because a funeral or memorial service happens. While it may be difficult to write sympathy thank you notes while you are grieving, it is important to acknowledge acts of kindness and support. This might sound obvious, but it happens. Stick to statements acknowledging the loss. This can leave people feeling very isolated. Oftentimes, we get so caught up in funeral planning we forget about things like all the funeral etiquette and bereavement issues that arise after the fact. Those who helped out at the funeral: people who gave speeches, carried the coffin, brought food to the wake and so on. The [wreath/arrangement] you sent to the funeral home was stunning. “Everything happens for a reason,” is a common phrase, but never say it at a funeral. If someone starts crying around you, tell them it’s okay. If you are worried about what to say to a friend, you can check out our list of What NOT to Say After a Death for some guidance. What to Say Instead . We hope our funeral speech examples will inspire you to write a heartfelt eulogy to honour your loved one. (to the widow). You can also use them in sympathy cards. Saying a funeral speech is not something that should be undertaken unprepared. At least he died in his sleep and didn't have to suffer much. This can be days, weeks, months, or even up to a year. Have you ever felt awkward when attending someone's funeral because you aren't sure what to say? Since most of us fortunately don’t get much practice attending them, it leaves many people feeling anxious and struggling to think of things to talk about. For more things to say to express your condolences or to write in sympathy cards, visit: 15 Best Sympathy Quotes for Passings. So what do you say to the bereaved, not just at a funeral, but in the months after, when grief takes on a terrible endless quality, when it seems that every moment of life from here on out will be fraught with hurt and longing? “It’s okay to feel angry, frustrated, and afraid. This is one of the simplest things to say, which makes it perfect for almost any situation. Being there to listen and offer words of sympathy can offer so much comfort after a funeral. Sending thank you notes for a funeral? So how else can you help someone following a funeral? 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